When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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