You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize