Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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