I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
