No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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