It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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