you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My vagina is very pro this idea
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
