Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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