Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Terrible idea I love it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
