Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
