Got a toothbrush?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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