how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
