The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
