...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
