The maid of honor just puked.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
