i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
