You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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