his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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