In the future we'll all be gay
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
