i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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