Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
