I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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