If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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