At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
