So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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