White coat. Heels.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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