How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
