he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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