Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
