My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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