Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
