You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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