so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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