The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize