wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
