I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
