Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
