i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She's the barista slut.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
