Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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