I want to stick my p in your. b.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
