in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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