This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
