i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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