I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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