I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
