I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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