we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
