I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
