Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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