You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
BRING THE BAGELS
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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