oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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