Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
40s are totally the cure
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
