It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
