ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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