Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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