I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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