There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize
