Midget sex pt 2 tonight
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
