I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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