Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
