protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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