If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
