is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
