I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
