I heard we made out
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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