I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my sisters under your porch take her home
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize