He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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