you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
