Christians are straight up FREAKS
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
