Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize