fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
