For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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