you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize