are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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