For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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