when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize
